Why have children

And then there are some not so great reasons, reasons that are a little skewed and potentially selfish. Whether we admit it or not, we all have that fear of living alone in our senior years. It is a period for those advanced years, in which you experience those inevitable stages of our lives when our ability to care for ourselves slowly dwindles. Of course not! So, creating children is our best bet to have at least one of them there to change our adult diapers during our final years of life.

And, depending on when in your life you have babies, they should be young and vibrant and physically healthy enough to be able to catch you as you stumble into your elder years. Some of us have a family name with a lineage that needs to be preserved. No one - and I mean no one - wants to be the family member that prevents the family name from living on due to a need to avoid a couple hundred dirty diapers and the extreme limitations of family life.

I believe there will probably be some fantastic baby shower gifts in it for you and your little one, so there's that little bonus factor. Most people would agree that these little beings are literally the cutest creatures on the face of this earth, except besides perhaps the cutest of puppies. Every baby has a certain degree of cuteness even if they have a unibrow or a shnoz that looks like a ginger root.

But, when it is your own baby, the cuteness factor automatically flies through the roof. I found myself, with my second baby, who had the roundest, softest, most squeezable cheeks in existence; gritting my teeth so intensely when I hugged her that I actually chipped a tooth. I had to grit my teeth in order to prevent myself from literally taking a bite out of her fantastically adorable skin.

Yes, the cuteness factor definitely holds an irresistible pull to having children. The first couple years of parenthood includes a lot of sleepless nights, dark circles under your eyes, and either a muffin top from comfort eating or sullen cheeks from no time to eat. Once you are over that hump, though, and you've survived those nights in which you thought you would never make it through, and the family has found its new groove, I literally think that parenthood can help the aging process come to an absolute standstill.

As we try to teach our children through the example of healthy eating, being active and exercising, and enjoying each day to the fullest; thankfully we too can benefit. We have no choice but to be the best example to our children. To take them out into the fresh air to play, to eat the healthy food that we encourage them to eat, and to laugh almost as often as they do So when you break it down, without the encouragement of our favorite little person to play, dance and create freely with full abandonment and without any judgment, our bodies would age irreversibly.

How many years have you found yourself sitting at the kids' table at any and all family events? And you would prefer to not end the evening with any suspicious bodily fluids on your plate or in your hair. Well, if you are ready to venture into the unknown territory; you can bet, most definitely, that if you are either bulging with a child or have succumbed to the experience of giving birth to this said child, you will no longer be discarded to that card table off in the hall with the children.

You can graduate to the bigger table, the one with nice China and the real glassware, as opposed to the lovely red plastic cups that are always being thrown at the dog from the kids' table. As we get older, I think it becomes more and more difficult to find reasons to do the right things.

As adults, we tend to figure out how to get away with more, how to avoid the rules, and to bypass certain regulations. But, as a parent, that becomes incredibly difficult. We can try to teach our children right from wrong and then do the complete opposite When you are a parent, you are forced to be more accountable for your actions.

Children see and hear more than we give them credit for. And, although you can get away with a lot when they are young, it will eventually catch up to you. The best lessons we can teach them are through example. And that keeps us accountable.

This one is a difficult one to talk about. Basically, we are unfortunately not all equipped with the ability to create an offspring. With all the various factors that can prevent a healthy pregnancy; like hormonal issues, scarring, premature menopause, poorly functioning fallopian tubes, endometriosis, just to name a few. And, of course, it doesn't end there - because why would it be that simple, right? Then, there are environmental factors, as well as our own habits, diet, and physical activity.

We have this fear of taking this amazing privilege of being able to do something that not every human being can do for granted. I learned after my first pregnancy, that I was definitely blessed with a body that could. Five hours for my first and three hours for my second, all while at home, on my living room couch.

I really should have had more Of course, as we get older we come across certain limitations that we may not have experienced in our youthful days.

Limitations due to our aging bodies, our day jobs, economic status, schedules, mortgages, car payments, and then there are the emotional limitations. And so, the risks we would have taken when we were younger become further and further out of our reach. However, by having children a new road opens up for us; an opportunity to not quite take new risks ourselves but instead, encourage our kids to take them for us. Quite honestly, due to the natural closeness of our relationships with our children, it can be almost as good as doing it ourselves.

And quite honestly, that sounds like a good enough reason to me! Nothing feels more meaningful in life than creating life out of nothing. Even more so, is creating life out of love. Everything about that just sounds so fantastic, and poetic and fulfilling.

I'm sorry but unless you are willing to write me a blank check or sign a contract to agree to help raise the child you can keep your mouth shut. You are in a mistake, is not necesary to have someone of your same blood to feel and give unconditional love, you can find that feeling sometimes in people who dont have your blood, also there are lots of parents betrayed, hurted, and killed by their biological sons, in ancient times and now, stop telling the people that only blood parents or descendants can have unconditional love.

I wish people would stop with this "Environmental impact" thing. If you are in a developed country you are actually having the problem of people not having enough kids to replace themselves. We need to all be kids to maintain a stable population. That means developed countries need to have more and developing countries need to have less.

I am an uncle, I'm not sure if I personally want kids or not. My wife wants kids but she doesn't know why. I think it's due to social pressure as she always mentions that theirs so many pregnant girls everywhere.

I dont feel social pressure at all. Very early in my teaching career early 80's , I had an elderly lunchroom worker noticed that I did not have children after my fourth year of marriage. She was perplexed because the culture called for babies married, employed, or not. This was a Head Start program filled with unwanted and neglected children.

Her comment to me was, "you better have you some babies so somebody will take care of you when you are old". My sociology professor said that was the main reason at the time people procreated. An old age insurance policy. I always thought both were profoundly wrong. I am I have no children. I have two dogs and and a great husband. I never wanted children. I just didn't feel the tug of motherly instinct to nurture a child for 20 years of my life. Thankful for my decision?

I was financially able to retire 3 years ago,debt free. Could I have done that with children. Some of my friend's children are still at home with them.

Many boomeranged. Some got sick. Some can't or will not hold a job of any kind. Some just don't want to leave. Their Moma is still cutting the crust off their bread and helping to raise their children. Hurray for those who did have children and they did well, with both parents who stayed together and Mom stayed home and all is well.

I just don't know many folks like that. The dynamics of society have changed since the 50's,in so many ways yet some still chase the Ozzie and Harriet lifestyle which Never existed in the first place.

Am I happy I didn't have children? Just short of smug. Too many children are born to people who can not, will not, and have no intention of raising children to become responsible adults. The cycle repeats itself generation after generation. I know this from my 30 years in public education. I know this from cousins in my own family. I know this from parents telling me they can not wait until school starts again or put my kid in special ed so I can get government money.

Parents blame the bad kid down the street, TV, the school system, the government, pick your whipping boy, but somebody else is to blame for the failures and disappointments and that of their children. I could say a lot more but in short, too many children are raised by institutions not nuclear families. Two institutions that HAVE thrived over the past years are indicative of 2-parent, financially responsible, mature, and spiritual families; daycare and the prison system.

Both getting bigger all the time. No, no, no! There are only negative side effects. Today we often do not have time for ourselves, we lose ourselves in everyday work, in communication with people There is no time to think about ourselves.

We become stressed, tired, both emotionally and physically. No time to travel, no money and time to do whatever you enjoy yes, some may enjoy their children, but it is rare this case.

Then why children? So nonsensical, pointless use of time and energy. And then you die. It good to have baby's because your life becomes more episodes to leave when you have a baby.

Not to mention other reasons. You have kids almost for the same reasons you have partners. Just like some people do not want to get married. But the majority will naturally want to. It urks me that a bunch of people here say things like "If your parents chose not to have children, you wouldn't be here writing this article, exploring the world", etc. I wish my parents chose not to have children.

They abused and neglected me my whole life, I've spent most of my life in poverty, battling hereditary conditions. I have never been happy, and considering my age, I doubt I ever will be. I would have preferred not to have been born. Life is not a gift. Something forced upon someone without their concent is not a gift. Some might like it, but that's coincidental.

You're not making children for the children, you're making them for themselves. And all the people who claim that they never wanted children, but then had one and now that's the meaning of their lives - yey for you, but that's also irrelevant. I'm glad it worked out for you, and I'm glad you're making the best of the situation, but that has nothing to do with wanting or not wanting to have kids, and with whether or not people should.

My parents wanted children. Because they wanted a toy. But they didn't want the responsibility, nor did they want something that would grow into a person. They were also in no financial, social, or personal position to have a child. They had one for fun. No one should do that. It doesn't turn out well for anyone. First time ever that I see someone listing reasons why people don't want to have kids and it isn't all just "become they are a shitty human being".

I never had kids because of my wife's mental illness. After 30 years I never had a yearning for kids, nor any regrets. Sometimes I think what a burden it would have been financially but life is fine without them besides future generations will be subjected to the devastation of climate change. Who wants to live in year round heat?

There is no amount of travel, no career pinnacle, no material indulgence that can hold a candle to the joy of raising a family. Most people would never learn the importance of self-sacrifice and devotion to the needs of others without having children. Children also bind communities together, giving parents a communal incentive to stand against corrosive influences like crime and for amenities like parks and recreational venues.

As a previous poster also mentioned, kids are hilarious! Children also create a commitment to the future. I want the world to be a better place for my kids, for their kids, and so on. Even Ehrlich has since had a child. Alas, population bombs are about as credible as the former hysteria over peak oil. The thing that always struck me as weird about this is that 9 out of 10 of these reasons are all ego based. The adult wants the kid for their own reasons.

While I really apreciate that not everyone wants kids and that's fine, tehre is small thing that bothers me: everyone talk about having keds sucking all your money and having to work a lot to support a family.

This is the result of a terrible set of economic decisions. Working class families shouldnt need to have both parents working full time and having no time to themselves. And actually, the economy allowed families to subsist, own houses and a car, and take holidays on ONE source of income alone. Of couse people need to make sure they want kids and that they want kids for the right reason.

But to have built a society in wich only the people who decide to not have kids get to purse their interests, have valuable experiences and etc, is BONKERS. It's an economical setting that makes sure that families are impoverished, children are raised by the tv, parents are stressed and alienated, and that the people who actually have free time to make questions and be critical and politically active are the ones that leave no children behind.

Let's make sure to point out that having to opt-out of parenthood to have the possibility of having free time and savings is a dilemma that capitalism invented. My wife and I are 42 yrs old, married for 11 years with no kids. Whatever the heck we like!!! My theory is, we are both the youngest in our families and we still want all the attention on ourselves. Call it selfish, but thats the way it is I definitely don't want to have children. Not now.

Not ever. I spent most of my life raising my parents. I literally had to give up on a pursuit of my own life to make sure they survived. Now that I am nearly 30, I want to create a life for myself.

What I tell them is a lot like the paragraph above. Folks are generally pretty understanding. Do I think there are a lot of terrible parents out there?

Oh yes! I wish my own parents were not allowed to have children. That being said I won't resort to blasting off on anonymous others with different viewpoints than my own.

Didn't this article begin with the author being upset about people criticizing her for not having children? Treat others the way you want to be treated. Preach girl! Everyone thinks you NEED to have a child but really? Its optional. People eally don't think about how much you have to give up when aving a child. Money, personal hapiness Sometimes you have to cut connections with some people or even get over an addiction fore having kids.

You have to be selfless when having kids. That's what makes these reasons invalid and the people saying them unprepared for having children. It's good to promote thought on the matter rather than just everyone filling up the already overpopulated planet for the wrong reasons. I personally feel that not enough people put time or energy into improving -- themselves , saying they don't have time etc because they have kids.

Truth seems to be that it's not your potential kids' job to make the world a better place, to contribute, and study - it's Yours! This article reads like the author has a chip on her shoulder. Anger management might help you let go of the feeling that people are judging you when they ask you why you don't have kids. Aside from that People have children because it's the experience they want to have.

Very simple. There are a million specific reasons to have kids just as there are a million reasons not too. Why do we have to boil it down to one Or a list of 10?

There's personal growth to be had, the same as starting a business, or a Ying a sport, or For people who don't want kids, they choose not to because that's the experience they want for themselves. I suppose if this was the popular opinion we wont be here to read this article The more likely truth is that we are parasites driven to multiply until this planet and its beauty is totally void of everything. Yes, that's a sombre thought and sounds really pessimistic Its only point number ten I consider reasonable not to just have children just because they want children.

Please think of what your generation want to inherit from you not that you will invite people to come and suffer in this world. So it seems you need a license or degree to practice anything except parenthood. It is a very serious responsibility and yet so many people don't think before bringing children into this world. The average person thinks that love is enough to sustain the life of child but let's face it, some people's idea of love is debatable. I believe that if you live a life that is less than anything that is fulfilling, then what makes you think that you have what it takes to enhance and support new life.

People in general are selfish and don't put much thought into the quality of life they can afford an innocent child who didn't ask to be here. I believe in God and procreation. I also believe that it is sinful the amount of inconsideration that people have when it comes to it. If one in fact decides to procreate, it is no longer about you but instead putting all of your efforts and ability into nurturing that life that you are ultimately responsible for.

Don't have kids for the sake of having kids. It is not a rite of passage. Kids life matter. The only and true reason to have children is written in the blible: "Be fruitful and multiply". Found this post trying to wrack my brain for an answer as to why people choose to have kids. To me it makes perfect sense that your life is basically over once you have a kid, I just don't understand what people don't understand about this.

Kids are the ultimate money and time suck. Take any goal or value you have for yourself in life, and almost certainly, having a child in the mix will make it difficult if not impossible. I can't understand if the world's gone crazy, or I have. I have been with my partner for 7 years, and some of our friends are asking us about marriage and children.

When I ask people of why they are interested I get the same answers as this article. I am not some one who is keen on becoming a mother. Recently I have thought of perhaps bringing a child or adopting one but for different reasons. I usually meet people who I feel should not have kids because they are either very unintelligent or narrow minded. It feels like the wrong people give birth to children and pass on very shallow views to them. It doesn't matter how educated some one may be, they can still see the world only from their point of view the judgemntal view.

I would like to see more feminists, environmentalists, and activists have children. I would like to bring a child and teach them about acceptance. I don't have to give birth to them. I live in a developed country and I want to help a child in a developing country. After all, the deveolped countries expoit the developing countries.

Also, I feel that may be this child could contribute to the society and make it a better place because no matter how hard I tried, I feel that I failed at it. Of course, there is no guarantee that my child will turn out to be a non-judgemental human being or even become this very selfish human being. So, this reason could also be a silly one that coud be added to the list.

There's over 7 billion of us, so eventually people need to calm down on the childbirth a bit. I want to count the cost before building my tower, even before laying the foundation. I'm glad i came across the read. Very easy to understand, and as a person who is choosing to live the rest of her life childless, a supportive branch to climb up on. The more articles, blogs, opinions shedding light on lifestyles sans children and the potential joys to be experienced from doing so, just creates more of a safe place for people like myself to exist online.

Good read. By the time you reach the age of thinking about prospective parenthood, which, on average, is slightly over the hump of 30, you are tiring of a lot of your friends. Many you will have known since school or university and been heartily sick of them for years.

I met most of the friends I have now at the school gates, or when accompanying one of my children to sleepovers. As with friends, so with partners. Those first few years giggling in bed, and sometimes even having sex there, are losing their allure. Puzzling over the meaning of life and the proper reaction to a piece of contemporary art is less of a rush than it once was.

You start to realise that you are average and dull like everyone else. A lot is talked about how children give you someone to love and how they offer a sense of purpose. If I tried to explain how they are funny and the countless ways they have made me laugh over the years, the stories would sound lame. I was walking in the park and saw a rabbit. You had to be there. But believe me, I multiplied my laugh rate 10 times more than when I was childless. Before you have children, you are quite likely to have a number of philosophical crises about life, death and meaninglessness.

Is it all worth it? However, after children you realise there are other questions, after all — whether Beany Babies have souls and if there are fairies at the bottom of the garden, how can they stand the smell of the composter? These kinds of inquiries, which will be incessant, usually leave no room for thoughts of self-annihilation. Children are not only funny, they are beautiful. Even ugly ones are thought beautiful by their parents.

Simply surrounding yourself with creatures so visually pleasing makes every day an aesthetic delight. So go ahead — do it. Have some kids. In the last 20 years of our existence we are trying to contradict the 'by experience' evolution of the DNA for the last years at least. My arguments:. Overpopulation: the real fact is that earth is not overpopulated as they describe.

China is, India is, Bangladesh is etc. Germany is not, Russia is not, USA is not. So create a anti child propaganda to the overpopulating countries and not to the whole planet. Meaning of Life: Earth is a life giver and a life taker.

We are not here just to have fun, neither to be only For ourselves. A person without kids will just consume the resources of the planet ending up completely forgotten by history. Even the big career, the big success it's temporary. Even the company that works for or he owns will also be forgotten by history. Exceptions are people that really contribute to the real thing.

See Einstein, Hawkings and other. By the way most of them they had children. DNA: Nature mates the best possible genes. There is a reason for that. It's the reason of the quality of. Never have I seen such a bizarre dichotomy in these comments where they're either an intelligently written introspection or where someone typed non-sequitur like a five year old. Seriously, spell check your posts before you make them.

Backwater sites like this don't have an edit option in the comments. This isn't Youtube country. I have been desperately looking for a good reason why someone would have kids because "hurr durr ima writer" and so far the only sound reasoning I can find is "I want to raise and take care of children, but for whatever reason I am unable to work in a field where I'm around kids.

As flawed an argument as this is, having your own kid lets you get attached to them without worrying about them leaving you except for untimely death or running away from you for being bad parents. And anyone who's gone through the adoption process will tell you it is a nightmare. Orphanages are not "The Baby Store. It can take years to fully adopt someone. Having your own takes between 9 to 10 months.

You also don't get to watch them grow up. I don't see the appeal of the messy infant stage, but to some people not having a veiny, 7lb wrinkly grandpa for a year or two is a deal breaker. Go figure.

I honestly believe you can't have children and be selfless in doing so. Choosing not to have children is technically selfish since you're focusing on your own needs, but to call it selfish invalidates the consideration put into the decision. Besides, taking care of your own well being is important in any adult, and condemning all selfish behavior as evil is not only misguided but unhealthy. Having children is the same way. You may have an ulterior motive, but to argue against having kids because of said motive invalidates the commitment that parents make to give their kid the best life they could possibly ask for that is assuming there was a commitment to begin with and the child is not a future "get out of an elderly home free card".

You don't get a trophy for not being a terrible parent. That only happens when you're not just a good parent, but a great one, and even then you don't get a trophy for that; you get a great kid who genuinely loves you back. Using your position as parent to force a kid into loving you is not love no matter how you dress it up.

Overall's book, with its clear-headed analysis, consideration of a wide range of factors, and thought-provoking proposals will shape the debate for years to come.

Christine Overall has taken a topic that had been under-analyzed and produced a book of such exceptional thoroughness and breadth that it is hard to imagine anyone surpassing her for some time to come. Christine Overall's latest book includes everything we've come to expect from her: relentless pursuit of the argument, crystalline prose, and a persistent drive to engage with the toughest and most important questions.

At the heart of this conceptually sophisticated and factually rigorous book is a seemingly simple point: babies are borne by women. If you think that, by now, any philosopher writing about reproduction or population ethics would be keenly aware of this fact and its implications, you really need to read Why Have Children? Ingemar Patrick Linden. Jennifer S. Search Search. Search Advanced Search close Close.

The Ethical Debate By Christine Overall A wide-ranging exploration of whether or not choosing to procreate can be morally justified—and if so, how. Add to Cart Buying Options. Request Permissions Exam copy. Overview Author s Praise.